


James Potter Loves Dildos and Hates Puns

by arya_sheppard



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A birthday present for you know who, Giant sparkly purple dildo, James Potter Loves Being Pegged, M/M, One (1) single ass smack, Pegging, Sirius Black Loves Puns, Strap-Ons, Trans Sirius Black, Wranglers Are Not Adult Supervision
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:49:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24937834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arya_sheppard/pseuds/arya_sheppard
Summary: James likes things in the ass, Sirius wants to put a thing up his ass - what else do you need to know really?Written as a Birthday Present, but not for the reason you think!
Relationships: Sirius Black/James Potter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 54





	James Potter Loves Dildos and Hates Puns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spacegandalf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegandalf/gifts).



James stared at the dildo in horror.

“No.”

Sirius was not deterred. He continued to grin and hold up the largest, purpliest, glitteriest dildo that James had ever seen. “Where did you even get that Padfoot?” 

“A half-blood Ravenclaw owls his muggle brother for muggle stuff if you pay him enough. I also have the harness!” He held up a bunch of leather straps. “C’mon Prongs, you know I’ll make it good for you.”

James snorted. “You mean you’ll make it good for  _ you _ .”

“James Potter, if you try to pretend for a single second that you don’t love putting things up your bum, I’ll change my mind about this and make you eat me out instead!”

That didn’t really seem like a bad time to James either, but he had a point about the dildo. Plus, Sirius was already in the process of taking off his pants and stepping into the harness, so James started undressing as well. “Okay fine, you win! But could you charm it to stay attached this time? We don’t want a repeat of last month, I still have bruises.”

Sirius looked up from the buckles. “How dare you. We promised never to mention  _ the incident  _ again. Just for that I’m still making you eat me out after this. At least 2 orgasms!” He pointed to the bed, “Hands and knees.”

Turning around, James licked his lips as he excitedly shuffled to the middle of the bed. Excellent! He couldn’t have planned this evening better if he had tried.

“And don’t think I don’t know exactly what you’re doing! I’m just choosing to go along with it.”

“Yes, dear.”

Suddenly James yelped when he felt a smack on his ass. “Ow!”.

“I think you’ll find that you’re the deer, dear.”

James put his head down between his elbows and groaned.


End file.
